


All Alone on Christmas

by skywardsmiles



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 15:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16956957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywardsmiles/pseuds/skywardsmiles
Summary: Harvey doesn’t have big plans for Christmas this year, but sometimes plans don’t work out.





	All Alone on Christmas

“Merry Christmas Eve.”

Harvey looked up to see Donna leaning in his doorway, her coat already on. He glanced back down at his watch. Two minutes past midnight. “Oh, so it is. Merry Christmas Eve.”

“I’m going home,” Donna announced. “You should too. Even the associates are gone, Harvey, and I think they actually live here. I saw one of them brushing their teeth here the other morning.”

Harvey waved her off. “Maybe I wouldn’t be here so late if someone hadn’t insisted we close the office early tomorrow? Today. Whatever.”

She rolled her eyes, but he could tell she was smiling. “Okay, Ebenezer Scrooge. Have a good night.”

He watched her go before turning back to the paperwork on his desk. She had a point – it was late, but lately it felt like everything was just piling up. No matter how hard he worked or how much he tried to delegate, he couldn’t trust that it would be done correctly if he didn’t do it himself. No one was as good as...

Harvey refocused on the paperwork with renewed interest.

An hour later and he really was ready to pack it in for the night. Harvey stood and stretched, when his desk phone rang, a call from a number he didn’t recognize. Since Donna was gone, it patched straight through to him - but even his worst clients surely wouldn’t call him at 1AM on what was technically now Christmas Eve. Then again, knowing his worst clients, maybe they would. He answered, uncertain. “Harvey Specter.”

“Now, how did I know you were still going to be at the office?”

He could practically hear the smile in Mike’s voice, and as Harvey sank back into his chair and leaned back, he knew he was smiling too. “You always were good at knowing useless things.”

“Oof,” Mike laughed into the phone. “Seriously, Harvey, go home.”

“You’re the one who called me,” Harvey reminded him. “Did you call me just to berate me for working too hard?”

“Maybe I called you just to berate you, period. I mean, someone needs to.”

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have moved across the country. It’s a lot easier to make fun of me when you’re seeing me in person.”

He instantly regretted his word choice – it gave too much away, fell just this side of not-joking. The truth he couldn’t seem to say out loud was that he missed Mike, constantly. Work wasn’t the same without him there to trade barbs with throughout the day, to come crashing into his office at all hours and make himself at home on Harvey’s sofa, talking everything from TV to cases to life. Now, all Harvey had were these small, stolen conversations – knowing that ten minutes with Mike on the phone was the closest he was going to get to having Mike back in his life for real.

But he didn’t blame Mike. Much. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t want the same thing in return. If Mike was happy, that was enough for Harvey. Usually.

But he couldn’t say any of that.

Luckily, Mike just laughed quietly into the receiver.

“Where are you calling me from?” Harvey asked, trying to steer the conversation into safer waters.

“A hotel,” Mike said. “I had a work thing.”

“On Christmas Eve?”

“Christmas Eve Eve, thank you very much. It’s not midnight here yet.” He laughed again. “But it is there. Seriously, why are you still at the office?”

Harvey scrubbed one hand over his face. “It’s Christmas Eve. Donna said we needed to close at noon. For morale. Whatever that is.”

“Please,” Mike said, smiling. “I’ve seen you leave work early a hundred times.”

“Yeah, but I _earned_ that right,” Harvey said. “I paid my dues working late first. I once worked _on_ Christmas Day, the entire day. I was the only one in the office.”

Mike snorted. “Did you walk barefoot in the snow both ways to the office in those days too?”

“Shut up,” Harvey grinned.

Mike just laughed again. “Just enjoy the break. Are you heading to Marcus’ tomorrow?”

Harvey paused then, fiddling with a legal pad on his desk. He paused long enough that Mike asked, “Harvey? Are you still there?”

“I’m not going this year,” Harvey sighed.

“What? Why not?”

He waved his hand, even though Mike couldn’t see him. “They’re going to Katie’s parents’ house this year and it would have been awkward, me tagging along. I sent presents, I’m not a total monster.”

“What you mean is,” Mike answered slowly, “Marcus assured you that you were welcome, but you got weird about it?”

Harvey sighed. “It’s better this way.”

“It’s your family too.” When Harvey didn’t answer, Mike pressed on – Harvey kind of hated that he’d taught him that sometimes. “What are you doing for Christmas then? Are you spending it with Donna?”

“Donna thinks I’m going to Marcus’,” Harvey said. “She’s going over to her boyfriend’s, and I’d just be in the way there too. Really, Mike, it doesn’t matter.”

“So you’re alone. On Christmas?”

“Please don’t make this a thing,” Harvey groaned. “Tell me about your and Rachel’s plans?”

“Her parents are coming,” Mike said, breezing past that topic, and so much for changing the subject. “Harvey, you can’t be alone on Christmas.”

“It really doesn’t matter,” Harvey repeated. “I’ll call you, okay? On Christmas Day. Assure you that I’m perfectly content sitting in my apartment, eating the exquisite catered meal I’ve ordered, and drinking a very expensive bottle of scotch. You’ll wish you were there with me instead of listening to Robert Zane tell that Supreme Court story of his for the millionth time.”

Mike was quiet for just a moment too long, before he seemed to let it go. “I’ll call you back on your cell, and I’ll keep you company on the drive back home. I want to hear all the latest Pearson Specter gossip.”

“You know that’s not the name anymore,” Harvey said, even as he stood, gathering his things with his free hand. Abruptly, his cell phone rang – Mike, calling him on that line instead.

Harvey switched over, and he couldn’t see him, but he could picture the fond smile on his face. “Yeah, but it was always my favorite of the firm’s many, many names,” Mike said.

“Mine too,” Harvey said, and found himself smiling.

* * *

As it turned out, Christmas by himself was… maybe a little more sad than Harvey had thought. He’d done it before – in the years when he hadn’t been speaking to his mother, he’d spent Christmas alone several years. Some years Donna had come over, to cheer them both up. Once, he even spent it with a girlfriend and her family, making awkward small talk over the turkey dinner. But in the years since, he’d grown somewhat accustomed to spending it with friends and family.

The last few years, he’d spent the holiday with Marcus and his family, getting to play fun Uncle Harvey to his niece and nephew. Watching Christmas through their eyes gave it a newfound sense of joy and excitement.

Before that, he’d even spent one year with Mike and his grandmother. She’d made more food than three people could possibly eat, and he remembered the way Mike’s eyes crinkled in the corners when he laughed that day, a different laugh than his normal one. Harvey remembered his breath catching the first time Mike had laughed like that on that day, sitting on the sofa with Harvey and drinking hot cocoa while he told Harvey about some almost-forgotten Christmas memory about his Grams and a burnt turkey. It was always weird seeing Mike in casual clothes – weirder still to see him in a reindeer sweater (that Harvey found adorable, but would absolutely never admit), and even more casual than normal. He was more himself than Harvey had ever seen him. Something about the domesticity of it had made Harvey’s heart soar.

Now, sitting in his apartment alone on Christmas Day, sipping scotch and watching basketball on TV, was just depressing.

He kind of hoped Mike had forgotten about the promise of a phone call, as he wasn’t sure he could take hearing about Mike’s wonderful Christmas, surrounded by his new family. But Harvey was rarely that lucky in his personal life, so when his phone rang, he only sighed once before answering. He was a glutton for punishment.

“Merry Christmas, Mike,” Harvey said, trying to pour as much warmth into his voice as he could.

“Merry Christmas, Harv.” He sounded less chipper than Harvey had anticipated. Maybe it was the stress of playing host to the Zanes. “How far are you into that bottle of scotch?”

“More than I was thirty minutes ago, and less than I will be in another thirty minutes?” Harvey asked, smiling a little. “I’m really okay, Mike.”

“Oh, I know you are,” Mike answered. Harvey looked up at the sound of a knock on his door. “I just want to know if there’s any left for me.”

Harvey paused for a split second, brain trying to wrap around his words, before he was on his feet and moving to the door. When he opened it, there was Mike – real, physical, Mike. Harvey wondered for a split second if he was imagining this, but the Mike in his head wouldn’t look so exhausted and probably wouldn’t be in that same reindeer sweater Harvey found weirdly adorable.

Harvey just stared at him.

“Merry Christmas,” Mike repeated, looking a little more nervous now that Harvey wasn’t saying anything.

Harvey kept staring. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Mike smiled, just a little. “Is that any way to talk to someone who’s been on a red-eye at _Christmas_ for you? Do you have any idea how long the line at the airport was this morning?”

Harvey noticed the suitcase at his feet now, and stepped aside to let him in. “Mike, you didn’t –”

“You weren’t spending Christmas alone,” Mike cut him off, wheeling his bag inside the apartment. “And it wasn’t all for you. Can I get that glass of scotch now?”

Harvey took in a sharp breath, pausing as he looked Mike over now. They hadn’t seen each other, not since Mike left for Seattle. Having him here again now, in Harvey’s apartment, felt like a shock to his system. His hair was a little different, a bit longer and more casual, likely now that he wasn’t working on multi-million deals and didn’t have to look so perfect all of the time. But he did. Harvey wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anything as perfect as Mike standing right there just now.

“Did I break you?” Mike asked, still smiling just a little. There was something sad behind his eyes too, Harvey could see it now.

“Scotch, coming right up,” Harvey said instead of commenting on it, turning to get him his drink.

When he returned, Mike was sitting on his sofa, shoes already off and looking like he belonged there. Harvey hated how tight his chest felt. “Nice reindeer,” he said, handing over the glass.

Mike smiled. “I happen to like this sweater.”

Harvey sat down across from him, watching him for a long moment. “Mike. What are you doing here? Not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, but you should be with Rachel. It’s Christmas.”

Mike knocked back the glass of scotch. “We’re separated.”

Harvey frowned, sitting up straighter instantly. “What? Since when?”

“Two months.”

He was quiet for a long moment, thinking back to his phone calls with Mike. Lately, he had been blowing past any talk of Rachel – but Harvey had assumed it was because he didn’t want to make Harvey sad, with all of his talk of his new, amazing life in Seattle, when he surely knew that Harvey missed having him here in New York. With him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to,” Mike said, staring down at the floor. He shrugged a little. “I… left to go to Seattle, to start this perfect life. Right? And I think it was good, for a little while. But the same problems we always had – I work too much, we don’t really understand each other – they were still there. And it just felt like it was that much worse, since neither of us had our friends anymore either.”

Harvey reached out, putting his hand over Mike’s. “I wish you’d told me.”

“You couldn’t have helped,” Mike said, huffing out a soft, slightly hysterical sounding laugh. “I think it’s good. Well, maybe not good. This wasn’t the outcome I wanted. But it forced me to figure some things out.”

Harvey nodded. “About Rachel.”

“About Rachel,” Mike agreed, still watching the floor. “And about me. About what I want for my life. And it’s not Seattle.”

“You’re so good, Mike,” Harvey said, gently. “You can go anywhere, do anything. And you know… you know there’s always a place for you at the firm, if that’s what you want. And if it’s not, I’ll call anyone you want and tell them they’d be a goddamn fool not to hire you.”

Mike shook his head slowly. “I don’t just mean work, Harvey. I mean… God, why is this so hard?” He blew out a long breath, then finally met Harvey’s eyes. His voice was so quiet Harvey wasn’t sure he heard him at first. “What I want, Harvey, is you.”

“You can come back,” Harvey said instantly. “Hell, Mike, I’ll make you a partner. Today. Louis and Donna will agree.”

“I don’t mean work,” Mike repeated, firmer, and it took Harvey a few moments of silence to piece it together.

“Oh.”

Mike groaned quietly, standing. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here, I shouldn’t have told you that, I shouldn’t have –”

Harvey reached out to grip his arm, firm but not too hard, to still Mike.

Mike met his eyes again and Harvey could see now that they were wet – and something about the fear there, and the quiet hope, completely undid Harvey. He kept hold of Mike’s arm, standing slowly, until they were eye-level.

“You want me?” he asked, slower.

Mike took in a deep breath, then seemed to unleash it all at once. “I want you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Harvey. And maybe this would be a mistake, and maybe you don’t want it, but I just… I had to tell you.”

“Mike,” Harvey whispered.

“I love you,” Mike said, and he looked on the verge of tears now. Like keeping this inside had been all that had been keeping him together, and now that it was rushing out, he was coming apart at the seams. “I love you, and I don’t know how this works, but I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life. I’ve thought about this, constantly. I told Rachel. It’s the main reason we split up. All I do is think about it. So just, please, can you say something?”

“Mike,” Harvey repeated, and closed the difference between them suddenly to kiss him. The kiss was like lightning, white hot, shot through both of them. Mike made a soft, surprised noise, and then gripped Harvey’s sweater, like he was afraid he might disappear. Harvey held Mike’s face in his hands, like he was afraid of the same.

“Well,” Harvey said, pressing his forehead to Mike’s when they finally parted, Mike’s breath ragged between them. “We don’t have to worry about being good at that.”

Mike let out another high-pitched, slightly hysterical noise. “You want this? You want… me?”

“Are you kidding me?” Harvey asked, pulling Mike into a tight embrace. “Mike. I’ve… I’ve been in love with you pretty much since you walked into that interview.” He smiled faintly. “And dropped all that weed on the floor.”

Mike gave a startled laugh, but quickly sobered. “So now what?”

Harvey cupped his cheek. “First things first. You are going to go take a long, hot shower – you’ve been on a plane all morning.”

“Sensible,” Mike agreed, quietly.

“I am going to get our meal ready. And then we’re going to watch Christmas movies.”

Mike nodded slowly. “Starting with Die Hard.”

“Obviously,” Harvey agreed.

Mike nodded again. “And then?”

“And then it’s just going to be you and me,” Harvey said, “because it’s always you and me, Mike.”

“Can it be you and me, with more making out?”

Harvey smirked. “There will definitely be more making out. But go take that shower first.”

Mike looked hesitant to move at all, but after a long moment, he stepped back. He let himself look over Harvey one more time, before giving him a small, hopeful smile. “Okay. You and me.”

“Put that reindeer sweater on again after, though,” Harvey called after him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a Secret Santa gift for [thesightlessniper](http://thesightlesssniper.tumblr.com) \- I hope you like it!
> 
> Thanks [bambiesque](http://bambiesque.tumblr.com) for beta-ing!


End file.
